My blog...

Is this my blog?  I am not blogging enough.  I have so many moments in a day when I should blog, when I think about blogging, and I just don't.  I am really pissed right now at the creation I have made in my life with the CIC thing and my husband.  I am sooo frustrated by everything and I don't know how I feel about things.  Or I know how I feel about things and I don't want to admit it.  I don't like having several feelings about one situation.  That situation being my husband.  I don't want his feelings in my hands.  I don't like the idea that I may hurt him with my actions.  I don't like the responsibility of it all.  Do I really want to be alone?  I am not sure.  I feel like that is best.  I feel like I want space to breathe.  I feel like my growth does not depend on housing myself with someone.  I am not even sure of the line between my ego and my soul right now.  I try to be here. I try to be in this relationship.  I seem to take and not give and why is that?  I have pondered if it's because I fear being taken advantage of but I don't fear that.  My husband would never do that to me.  So what I am doing here?