Uber happenings

So CIC isn't a fan of my bus life. It takes too long to get anywhere. I think what bugs him the most is that he lacks certain guarantees such as timelines, trust, and safety. It's an open environment and it's not his style. 

I've risen buses my whole life. It's no big deal to me but it is to him. Now that we live together he's running a campaign to get me off the bus. He's even set up an uber account to ensure I have transpiration that he can trust. I'm in an uber car right now and he's probably tracking me on the app...

I'm grateful he set up uber for me but I wanted to take the bus home because it's cheaper even though it would've taken me a long time to get home. I felt obligated to take uber to make him happy and I am blogging about it because I just had a feeling with CIC I've never had before. 

It's that classic despair I use to experience with Cookie and Devin. Just sad about the situation. I felt like I was being controlled and told what to do. I felt like I was being denied my freedom. I mean, it's really not that serious. It's just a car ride. Maybe it's because he's paying for it. I feel like a child who can't be trusted to take care of herself. 

I loathed him in that moment. I've never felt that way about him...which why I know it wasn't about him. It was about the feelings the situation was giving me which leads me to believe I never felt that way about my exes, just the situation. When I felt the feeling before I arranged the uber ride, I wanted to cry. I seriously started to tear up at the thought of having to use the service. I felt defeated. 

I felt like a burden. I felt like I needed a hand out. Because I had those feelings I made myself order the car in order to get pass them. I know what happens when you let those feelings fester. My independence is important to me. CIC just loves me and feels inclined to keep me safe. And as ly naked in bed warm and quiet I realize that's all CIC wanted. 

 

I'll still have to find a different way to address this uber thing. In the mean time, I'm home. Good night! 

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's the Fall!

Fall is my favorite season for many reasons.  I'm not going to get too poetic or overtly metaphysical about why I love the Fall. I will just state briefly that I love the ending of things that are necessary for a new beginning. Fall is a great time to let shit go and move on! Below I will list 4 other reasons why the Fall is the best time of the year!

1. The weather is perfect! 

I love a nice chili days and nights that allows you to cuddle under quilts or afghans and drink tea, hot chocolate, or coffee with baileys! I like to wear jackets, sweaters, and boots. I love the cloudy skies, the rain, the keeping the windows open to feel the cool air. 

2. The trees are so beautiful! 

Spring time is my second favorite season but it pales in comparison to the colors of the fall leaves. Varieties of red, yellow, brown, orange, and green are in abundance and the changes are subtle and abrupt. I love the noise of the leaves as the wind dances with trees. It's so picturesque when the leaves fall to the ground. I love walking, running, stomping, and rolling in piles and piles of leaves on the ground. I love the smell of the leaves and earth mixed together. I love it when I see a leaf that I'm drawn to so much that I pick it up and take it with me. I love this dying. I love this stillness. 

3. Fall has the best holidays!

Seriously, Halloween, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and are the best holidays! Um, I get to get free candy if I dress up in a costume? Sign me up every time! 

I love horror movies, zombie flicks in particular. I love haunted houses and sensible gore. Now, sensible gore sounds like and oxymoron but some movies like Saw in my opinion have gore all wrong. I grew up with a healthy thanksgiving tradition of giving thanks, spending time with family, and eating as much soul food I could fit in my belly that night. Politics aside, in my house, Thanksgiving the best holiday of the year. Labor Day is a great way to recognize the professions that keep the world turning and it's also a great way to get out of school and BBQ! 

4. School starts again after summer break. 

I love school. I always have and it's the reason why I came to earth; I love learning. Learning is the reason we all have come here but I know for me that being a student and teacher in life has been a passion of mine since I was 3. And while most kids I knew dreaded the end of the summer, I was super excited...most years :-P 

Living in Los Angeles has definitely made me long for my favorite season even more. Lucky for me, in my job I can always visit the places that have the best Fall seasons. I'm heading to PDX tonight for Halloween with my babe! I'm going as Melandre from Game of Thrones. Hope you enjoy your Halloween! Just remember, the night is dark and full of terror... Bwahahahaha