I am 30,000 feet up and really sleepy. Not sure why I feel so tired right now. I think I got enough sleep last night. I had a couple of beers too. I haven’t drank a little while, not since staying with The Fish and The assassin. Yet right now I feel so sleepy. I think I will try to sleep for the rest of the flight. I suppose I can take some time to comment on my new way of life. So far so great! Everything I want is happening for me. Lol, even the desire to just get money without working.
This whole trip has been interesting so far and it’s only day two. I had a long day of flying yesterday. We were suppose to end up in Great Falls, Montana for the night but due to a festival in town all the hotels were sold out. This wouldn’t have normally been an issue as our rooms are always reserved for us no matter what. However, there was a crew that deadheaded (a deadhead is when the company pays for your transportation from point A to point B, C. etc.) on our flight in order to work the morning flight from GTF to MSP in the morning.
This crew had had a terrible trip so far with cancellations, extreme delays, weather, and almost 5 hours airport appreciation time (a phrase we like to use in the industry to describe an amount of time crew members have to wait at an airport until their next flight also known as a sit). All of that can be exhausting! That crew was supposed to arrive in GTF at about 1100 and well, they didin’t get there until about 1800. Those poor babies. Since they missed their check-in time, the hotel sold their rooms when they were not supposed to. The best decision for that crew was to give them our rooms and let the company find us some place else to stay. It turned out that place to stay was Helena, Montana, about an hour and fifteen minute drive away. We arrived at our hotel-motel at almost 2300. I didn’t get to sleep until 0300 or so because I stayed up all night chit chatting with the other flight attendant whom I absolutely adore!
It has been a while since I stayed up talking to someone. It was really nice talking to this flight attendant the other night. I have created a vault for him in my mind so I won’t divulge his name here. He has had such a filled life. He has been all over the world, he is a talented dancer, he is theologian, he has been a stripper, and he has been in the airline industry for over many years. He grew up in a very strict Christian home and this was very awkward for him since he is by nature gay. He was ashamed of this part of him and he asked God many time to take it away. He is suicidal and the type and amount of a prescription drugs he takes concerns me. Eventually, he truly began to be who he is and he found no place in the Christian society or his family for his new way of living.
I often wonder what is it like to grow up under such limitation and oppression. My heart always goes out to people in such situations as my mother made it clear that if I were attracted to the same sex, she wouldn’t love me any less. Yet there are some people in the world who abandon and abuse their children for such a thing and it’s so heartbreaking. You would think the Christians, who are supposed to preach a message of unconditional love, forgiveness, kindness, and non-judgment would be the first group of people to stand up for the homosexual community. It is in fact this group of people who are the loudest voices against the community. I don’t call myself a Christian for that reason and many others.
When being who you are makes you want to kill yourself because you feel like it won’t be accepted by society then you need to first, get help and second, find a community that is loving and supportive of you. Now when I say being who you are, if you feel like you are natural pedophile then this definitely does not apply to you. I do my darndest to avoid judging and damning people but the pedophiles are the exception to this. They can fucking burn in hell. I don't see any natural reason to have a sexual relationship with a child. Children are innocent and pure and to sexualize them is the worse atrocity in this world. If you feel a natural urge to have a sexual relationship with a child, seek help fast.
However, if you are naturally attracted to the same sex you should not have to deal with societies bs about how you want to live and being who you are. Being LGBT does not directly harm the life of another human being. I know what the Christian bible says about gay people but it also says that I should not be writing this blog and instead still in chains serving a master. What makes one historically relevant but expired, wrong, and unneeded bible rule more important than another? It is fear and past live residual experiences that cause people to speak out so negatively about homosexuality.
It is also the perverted minds of many of these people who sexualize everything. It reminds me of how some people say they prefer pubic hair because it clearly identifies you as an adult. What?? You mean to tell my because I like my pussy clean shaven it reminds you of child? I discovered some people felt that way and it kinda disgusts me that their minds come to such conclusions. I just like my pussy hairless because it feels better to me. I never thought, I want my pussy to look like it was when I was kid. But that is how some people’s sick as minds work and it is that kind of ignorant thinking that leads to anti-homosexuality behavior. That analogy may seem too simple for some and way in left field for other's. To each it's own.
Here I am working with this beautiful human being who is afraid to come out because of the fear he feels in his heart. my advice for him was to take the bull by the horns and live your life. It's the only one you know now and you have to make the best of it.
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