If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right

That song is sang with such passion that makes one want to accept that the wrong kind of love is ok if it's executed with such deep passion and seduction.

The truth is that it's wrong and doing the right thing in the end feels way better than the wrong thing. Also, the wrong thing is so much easier do. Sometimes the right thing takes work. It takes commitment. It takes personal sacrifice. It runs one the risk of feeling hurt feelings.

I always say I'm not afraid to hurt because I know with pain comes growth and more love. Yet at times my actions tell otherwise. I often act out of fear. These days however I'm more afraid of being my authentic self than pain because I know how awesome I am now and I still struggle with my worthiness of so much love and awesomeness.

I know my actions weren't in the best interest of my soul's growth. I knew it was something I setup to further delay my destiny. Once again thinking, I'm not good enough for my awesomeness and blessings and here's the proof.

Earlier he said something to me that I didn't like. He said, not everything that happens to me is in my control and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Obviously we don't share the same beliefs so initially my ego rejected such info while my soul placed it on the back burner.

Since I believe in the power of creation and that with god's help and permission we build the lives we want here, I know that I control some things to a certain extent. Of course ultimate power belongs to god/the universe. Yet cic was right, I don't have to always carry the weight of all that happens to me with me and let it weigh me down. I need to let some shit go and roll off.

He taught me so many things. I will miss parts of him I can no longer have. He would have been a great friend to me. The truth is that friends don't do things to hinder each other's lives (sometimes however your friends are used as instruments in your soul symphony). I was holding him back for a moment of easiness. I am sad to lose some of what we had but sooooo elated for our souls to advance :-)