I'm holding it all in for the sake of who and what? The world is not going to come crashing down at my honesty. I feel fear stronger than I have felt it in a very long time. I had no idea I had so many walls up. Here I am making myself vulnerable to some things and not others. I am pushing myself to move way too quickly. I want to solve problems now.
I have to take things slowly sometimes and I find it difficult to do. I am so hard on myself to be perfect. I have to be right. I have to fix problems as soon as they come about. Pressure on myself to do right by others. Questioning my morality.
I am slightly depressed. I show all the symptoms. I have been realizing so much about myself lately that I feel overwhelmed. Where is the part of the teachings that tell you what it's really like to be vulnerable? That doing this will bring out all your demons. God never gives you more than you can handle. I've been in tougher spots but this feels so terrible.
Why do I compare my now with my past? I want to be healed.
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