Wine, bikinis, dancing, laughter, and wine!

I have been having the most amazing summer having friends. You see, I'm pretty antisocial. I am a loner and I like it. I never seek out my friends, they seek out me. I never call someone up and suggest that we hang out. I'm not sure how to do that, really. Lol. Not trying to sound all arrogant about it, just observing that I never start friendships nor do I know how to maintain them.

It's really strange because my entire life I think I socialized out of convenience. Meaning people were around so we did things together. Since I am not around those people now, I don't do things with them. In fact, at the end of the day, I was perfectly fine not doing anything with anyone (I still am). What does it mean to hang out with someone? What does spending time with someone look like when it's not romantic?

The truth is that I have only ever spent time with people I was romantically or sexually involved with. I've never spent time with friends. All of my relationships ended after 5 years. My Chicas are the only survivors. My siblings don't count. I don't think I've ever wanted friends. I never put effort into having them. I remember trying that in high school once and I definitely quickly got tired of feeling like I had to do something to get people to like me. Good call.

Yesterday I went to the lake with my new clan (we need a name). We soaked up the sun, dabbled in the lake, ate amazing Indian for dinner and drank the night away while dancing in our bathing suits in a living room. It was fun. I didn't feel romantically lonely like I use to. Is this the purpose of friends? This is new to me. I am grateful. Even more interesting is that I get this feeling at 28! Lol. Finally.