Another wonderful day! I am so blessed and thankful for many things. Today was the longest distance I have had to run yet and well….I did great! I was even able to pull a 7-minute mile out of my ass. The only thing beating me down today during my run was the sun. It was absolutely too hot and I started running too quickly for that type of weather. In the end I walked and ran 6 miles in about one hour and twenty-five minutes! That is another personal best! I am sooo elated. I also registered for the half marathon officially today and that is also wonderful news! Thanks to Cookie of course!
In other news, one of our neighbors got robbed. Someone busted down their door and stole two TVs. It’s pretty disgusting and I feel terrible that they had to experience that situation. For some reason, they passed up our apartment and headed to the second floor. I have never been so thankful for having a furniture-less living room before, lol. We also don’t own any televisions! I imagine the person who got into our house had sized it up already and saw we didn’t have anything. The only thing the thieves did was rip out intercom off of our wall (this was months ago by the way). It was a very strange incidence.
Perhaps big sister and her husband will stop by this evening to pasar tiempo with Luis and I. I start a trip tomorrow so I have to leave early in the morning. Right now I need to do laundry, make food for my trip, and pack. I wish I didn’t have to be concerned about other things like being married. It is times like these that I wish I were alone. Isn’t that a strange thing? The moments when I am happy and feel balanced, I would rather be by myself.
I was reading an article in The Daily Love about how when we get upset with other people, the source is normally an insecurity we may have about the situation. Getting upset with my husband is some sort of insecurity of mine according to the article. How can I have so much joy when alone and then be so irritated when he comes around? What is it about him that is possible a mirror into my insecurities? At times he has seemed to lack responsibility, be lazy, not eating well, not exercising, disorganized, not planning things properly, not brushing his teeth often enough, not working, not cleaning well enough, and staying glued to the laptop. I don’t seem to have those problems consistently. Of course I do some of those things but not all the time.
I am not the type of person to think or feel that just because I do it, others should be able to do it too…at least not for everything. I accept him as an individual but he comes up short for me. What could I possibly be insecure about? I know that I am having a hard time having faith in him. I was reading this book about love languages and I confirmed that it’s not saying you love someone, it’s showing it that does it for me. I know that he loves me and he shows me often but when he doesn’t love himself or participate in doing tasks around the house, I feel like he is inactively loving and I find seeing him sit on his ass unattractive.
I just read over those things that bother me about him and I see that if I didn’t do those things myself, I would be unhappy with myself. Perhaps I am projecting those feelings on him a bit. I keep telling myself in the end, I just want him to be happy and love himself. I feel like he has spent his whole life loving himself in the wrong way and at times not at all. I recognize as I write this that I am venting, not creating. Just want to make that clear for the universe. Now that I have gotten that out, here is what is, what I want, what is now, etc.
My husband is healthy! He cares about working out and eating well! He chews his food and is conscious of his digestive process. He prays and meditates. He has joy and abundance! He loves who he is! He is situationally aware and thinks ahead. He too will start to train for marathon running and we are going to be that hot sexy couple you see riding bikes along the shore. I am sooo grateful for his new job! He is in love with his new position and is proud of himself. He has his driver’s license and a new car. He travels to anywhere he wants to go. He is a sex god!!!!! He buys me nice things on special days and surprises me too! I love him and he loves me and we continue to show it everyday!
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