Hello there! Just got back from Korea and I am absolutely in love with that country! Can't wait to get back. But just like coming back from any other trip, I came home to find my house not as clean as I would like it to be. It is sooo irritating and I am over it.
I am wondering if my husband and I have different ideas about cleaning. I believe there is something to be cleaned in a house everyday and he doesn't. The bathroom is dirty and it's his turn to clean it. He has somehow been showering and hasn't noticed the drain flooding again. There is dirty laundry. Things are out of order. And the worse part was finding a moldy towel in the sink. Am I this picky because I am a girl or because he is a guy?
Which brings me to the next issue. I am tired of society raising men to be this way. I think that the old image of the wife taking care of the home solely is outdated, unfair, and overrated. Men typically put meat on the table and secure a place to dwell. I have seen things that way in my country and while every couple is different, that was how things were everywhere. I have seen it in my husband's country as well, yet my husband's parents for the most part seem to have things worked out pretty well after 30+ years of marriage. I assumed that in Korea I would only see Hye Sung's mom taking care of the home but one day when she was out, her dad was preparing breakfast and he seemed to know his way well around the kitchen. I was pleasantly surprised.
This brings me to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what society says about gender roles in the home or cultural norms and expectations. Each couple has a choice in how daily living tasks are going to be executed. I am sure in the beginning it might have been frustrating for those couples but that after years and years of marriage, they were able to work out a system. I want my system not damn it!
Right now, I have the task of providing the meat, and in our case veggies, and the shelter and I don't mind that. I suppose there was an expectation for him to realize that since he is home more, most of the home care responsibility falls on him. I mean, it just seems logical. However, since I believe in partnership I think we should share responsibilities therefore I take part in the home care too. The issue is that I am better at cleaning and believe things should be kept a certain way. Also, in the end I do more cleaning than he does which doesn't seem fair to me since I bring in the bacon. I mean, if he paid some of the bills or all of them, things would be different.
I, too, it seems has fallen into the stereotypical make up of a home on most occasions but I don't blame the culture for that. I blame myself because if I were in his shoes, the house wouldn't be in this condition. I feel like, if I can do it, so can you. I mean, cleaning is not hard. I find it fun and stress relieving most of the time. And then after things are cleaned you are free to enjoy a clean area. Also, I think since I have a better standard for cleaning what he does is not good enough. Is that because I am woman? I am not sure. Sure as hell wasn't raised in a typical home and my mom was not a good housekeeper.
Lately, he has been doing great with his chores, better than he was in the beginning and I am grateful. Yet once again, he is another area that is just not good enough for me when it comes to my husband. Honestly, I am tired of having to hold his hand through things. Things that I feel most people should grasp on their own. Could it be that he is so evolved in so many other areas that its little things like this in life that he needs to grow in? If the shoe were on the other foot, he definitely wouldn't get so frustrated with me. We both confessed that we are tired of having this argument. I hope this is the last time. In fact, I am creating it as the last time.
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