Now that is something I have heard my entire life and I couldn't stand it. I was always labeled and teased for doing the right thing or the good thing. It bothered me at times but I didn't lose sleep over it. Something else I have been hearing for quite some time is that I am always trying to be right. Recently my husband and my new mentor accused me of this. Now, my mentor only recently came into my life and in just two conversations he accused me of this (and many other things). How is it that two people, one who barely knows me (as far as my ego is concerned) and my husband, who knows me the best, can say the same thing? Could there be some truth to this accusation?
I have never had that mentality. In fact, I am open to many points of views and being wrong. Is it my fault that most of the time, I am right? I am not the type of person who is unwilling to admit when I am wrong. If I am wrong, I want to be corrected. If I am misinformed, please give me the right information. I do not argue for the sake of being right, I argue my point of view and I am open to the view of others. I would describe myself as a truth seeker. Now, if I appear passionate or persuasive about what I am saying, what should I exactly do about that to make others feel comfortable? I feel like my actions are being misinterpreted. I feel like I have to clearly outline my intentions before I began to speak so other people can know my goal.
I asked Luis what it was that I do to make it seem like I am always trying to be right. He said that I interrupt him when he is speakin. Hmmm, sounds more like being rude but that is my opinion. My husband barely wants to disagree about anything. I can patiently listen to someone and then agree or disagree with them afterwards. I suppose that would help this situation. I have to admit this makes me angry. I asked him what else it is that I do and that is all he had for the moment. Hmmm, so if I just act like I am listening, then I won't give off the impression that I am trying to be right. That sounds like my ego talking I suppose. My point is that it bothers me that I give this impression. I am wise enough to know what what I think, how I feel, and what works for me does not work for someone else. I don't push myself onto other people. If you decide to open the flood gates then you should prepare for the possibility of getting drowned or at least really wet.
When my husband accused me of trying to be right, I turned out to be right. Was that the point? Not at all. I think for me since I knew I was right, I didn't feel like going through the motions of the back and forth. I guess the back and forth makes people feel like they are being heard. I guess I have to treat him like I treat my passengers. Oh, that's pretty fucking genuine. Honestly, all I did was keep asking him questions. Wanting more information is trying to be right. Do I keep searching for answers until I hear something that pleases me? I don't know. I don't think so. My intentions are to get the story before formulating an opinion. I also think that my husband and I get lost in translation sometimes.
I am not trying to be right. I suppose I could do better at listening to things I might not care to hear or that I disagree with. I suppose I could disagree on the inside and keep a cool face. Or just not give a shit. Either way, I'm over all this bull. I am going to sit back and watch for while. The idea of that makes me feel like I am wasting away.
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