Oh Universe, how you work in mysterious ways...
Ok, so I have been asking God/The Universe to increase my awareness of the things around me for the purpose of helping myself and those around me. I experienced something today that was amazing! I have a ways to go yet but this was such a great start!
Right now I am on a layover in MCI and I am working with the Fish! I haven't worked a flight with her in almost two years so I am sooo excited. It doesn't even feel like work. It's stress free and fun! Well, she wanted to do a coffee run on the flight after service and asked if I could follow her with water. Of course I could! As we were going down the aisle I looked over at this young lady. I had noticed her earlier during the flight but didn't pay much attention to her (I just thought, cool looking chick, great headphones). As I was walking by this time, I noticed she looked and felt really sad. I also noticed she had a journal she was writing in. It was all sorts of scribbles and scrabbles but there were some words that stood out to me. They were written in big orange writing: Jesus fucking lied. My first thought was whoa, no matter how you feel about Jesus, those are some pretty powerful words.
I asked her if she was ok and she just said yes. That is when I felt this heavy energy from her. Something was really wrong. I finished my water service and told the Fish, I think I will have to do an intervention. I wasn't sure why the word intervention came to me at the time but it did. It came in strong and certain. Of course this puzzled The Fish as well as I didn't give any other details. I just said, it looks like this girl needs an intervention. No one was sitting in the seat next to her so I decided to sit with her for a while. The moment I sat next to her, I wanted to cry. It was so dark and so heavy. I could also smell alcohol and I am not sure if she even smelled that way or not. I just smelled it and felt hungover.
I asked her again if everything was ok. She said no but that she didn't want to talk about it. I told her that I didn't want to weird her out but being next to her makes me want to cry and that I was trying to hold it back. I told her I could feel her energy. I asked her if that was too weird and she said no, I totally believe in that. Yet and still, she was still resistent and walled in. I told her that I would have a hard time saying anything to her if she didn't give me something to work with. I tried to tune into her and see how I could make her feel comfortable enough to talk to me but without pressure or deceit. I decided to be random with her. She looked like a really random kind of chick.
She had piercings, cool hair that was a funky color, really nice headphones, and cool clothes. Her journal looked like it was hand made paper and that was my go ahead. I said, "wow that's a cool journal. The paper looks really cool. I use to make paper. It was cool and Japanese and I would put leaves and stuff in it just like yours." She told me her mom gave it to her. I said oh! She said it was a recovery journal. She then confessed that she was being sent to rehab by her mom; her mom who had never really expressed anything to her before sent her to rehab out of the blue. Her whole family was waiting for her on a Saturday evening to have an Intervention and that she was on her way to California to go to rehab. Wow...
I am not sure if you have heard or seen the tv show intervention but it's some pretty intense stuff. When you have an intervention, it's a surprise. You are brought into a room with people who love and care about you. They all read letters or use some method to express their love, concern, and support for you. It catches you off guard. Most of the people being intervened, the users, don't think they have a problem or know they do and don't see the strength inside to love who they are and stop it. These users often get really pissed at their loved ones and feel tricked into being brought into such a conversation.
The intervention group makes an ultimatum: You either go get help now or I will not be in your life anymore. This threat makes most users go to rehab. And when do they go to rehab? Right after the intervention. No packing (your family has taken care of that). No saying good bye to friends. No parting with your significant other (only if they are not present and especially if they are an enabler). You don't get a day to think about it. You are rushed on a bus, train, or plane to some rehab center in the blink of an eye that is typically far away. It's pretty traumatic...but then again, so is addiction the reasons for it's existence in one's life.
Anywho, I knew what this girl had gone through to be on this plane. While explaining why she was there she then pointed at the guy across from her and her escort. I waved at him and hoped I wasn't doing something wrong with the way the intervention works. She didn't know who he was, had just met his the night before, and that bothered her. She just wanted to get off of the plane and have a cigarette. She wanted to fucking get off the plane. She didn't realize how strong her soul was to have her get on the plane in the first place. That is where I started. I told her that some of the most amazing souls get dealt the toughest cards and have the worse storms because they are so strong. I gave her my favorite saying: life never gives you more than you can handle. Even when it seems like everything is some BS, your soul is hear to learn something amazing and become strong. This was her chance to realize her strength.
I told her that this wasn't a bad thing. I told her it was a great thing. I told her that for so long she has been angry and hurt and trying to numb herself. I told her she didn't need that anymore. I told her she was here on this plane because she was ready to be great! This is when I finally felt the air thin out. Her energy became lighter and she was smiling. Thank God! Commence with random conversation. I told her she looked cool and wished I had friends that looked his her. I asked her what kind of music she liked and she said all! I then asked if she liked mumford and sons and it was a big yes...especially their pandora station (give it a listen). It was this point I finally asked her name and introduced myself. Eh, no need for semantics. I told her what aisle surfing on the plane was and asked her to imagine me doing it during landing.
I told her that in the end, she is going to realize how fucking awesome she is! I told her that I have been realizing how fucking awesome I am and that I feel great. I told her that when you become healthy, the one thing people don't tell you is how the demons are going to come out. Not real once but figurative ones. I told her that when I started eating healthy I was having issues with depression and suicide. When we numb ourselves with substances, we don't get to deal with the underlying issues we are trying to suppress. When you get healthy, all of the shit you couldn't handle while high, fat, or drunk comes at you.
No one tells you this and I think it's BS. I told her straight up that it would be hard sometimes and that she would hurt. BUT I reassured her that undersneath the hurt was love and it's worth getting to. I told her its ok to be angry. I told her it's ok to be upset about what's happening. Express the hurt! Break things! Yell! Kick! Scream! I told her she needs to let out all the things she had been trying to keep in. This will lead her to where the real pain is located. Once you acknowledges that pain, you open the door to love. I told her she has an abundance of love inside of her that is waiting to get out.; enough for her and all those around her.
At this point she was smiling. She seemed lighter. I told her I wanted a place in her journal. I told her to write my name in there. Of course I spelled it our for her since I am such a uncommon Tracie. She wrote "Tracie on a plane" in there which lead to me to ask her if she had ever seen snakes on plane. We then commenced to quote Samuel L. Jackson: Enough is enough, I am tired of these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin plane (best part of the entire movie). We laughed. She was beautiful. I forgot I was working. The seat belt sign came on so I had to get back to work. I went to my galley and kept thinking of her.
As I was in my galley her intervention escort came to the front to use the restroom...I thought I was in trouble. Before going in he said hi. I asked if what I did was ok and he thanked me so graciously. He confessed that this was a tough case, she was having a hard time, and that she really needed that, hell he needed that help to. I then thanked him for the courageous work he does. While he was in the restroom I started to pray for her. Wishing that her soul finds her way and hoping she could see that God will never forsake her! While praying the intervention guy came out and thanked me again. He seemed liter too (no pun intended). That is when I decided to write the girl a note and give it to her when she exited the plane. A few more encouraging words for her to take with her. As she was leaving, she greeted me with a huge smile.
This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I am not sure how much I will impact her but I am so grateful to God for the opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A couple things I will do is to surround myself with the white life of the holy spirit before going in next time. After talking to her my body ached so badly. My neck injury started to hurt. I felt completely drained. I forgot to say, observe but don't absorb and I ended up absorbing her energy. It was a lot. I called my Chica and told her about it and of course she enlightened me. She said perhaps being in such a small space with people can work to my advantage because would I have been able to pick up on her energy in a big city? Such a great point!
I got to see how she was feeling though and that was sooo awesome. I am so thankful. Please, pray for this young lady as she embarks on her journey. Send her good energy so she knows she is loved and not alone. God bless!
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