Actualizing My Soul's Goal IV
My comfort zone can be the factor to keep me from living through my intentions. I must use caution. Positive mind. Neutral mind. Negative mind. There is a such thing as balance. The negative and positive mind must be consulted to reach the neutral mind.
I am afraid for a reason. The nervous system is designed to keep us alive. When we genuinely have a fear, we may think we're going to die because that's how our bodies are trained.
Jo Campbell says, the cave that I fear to enter holds the treasure that I seek. My fear is always a good sign. I have to embrace my fear as a sign of wisdom and being on the right path.
There's a sense of genuine anxiety of not knowing why we're afraid. This is cool because I always tell myself when running that I'm not going to die by continuing to run. There's nothing wrong with us because we instinctively want to survive. It just means we have to step into and believe in our soul. There is apart of who we are that wants to fulfill the goals and intentions.
Fear and limiting beliefs
What is the meaning behind the fear? Most of the time we are so focused on what we're afraid of that we don't focus on what we want to create.
This is what Iyanla meant by pee flowing down your leg. In order for me to reach my goals it must be a lifestyle. It has to become who I am and who I will be moving forward. I have to become this.
What do I have to do to achieve my goals? What do I think is not possible? What do I feel is in the way of why I won't reach my goals?
1. My stomach has always been this way
2. My family is poor and it will be harder for me to achieve financial success because of it. Plus I will have to help them and that's a huge responsibility.
3. I will leave Carl because that's what I do. I will fall out of love with him (that seems ridiculous to even write)
4. Maybe I'm not fertile.
5. I seem to have trouble finishing what I start.
6. I'm too young and not experienced enough
7. It will cost too much money.
We are experts in what we're afraid of so it's easy to make this list.
Every human being has two fears: I'm not enough to be loved and I'm not good enough. If I ran a multibillion dollar company and profits were down 50%. How would I feel? Anyone in any position of power is going to have problems of concern. If I am worried about being concerned about certain aspects of my dreams that means I care. Means I am on the right track. Every time I try something there will be things I could learn from each try. Sometimes being bad at something is teaching you how to be good at it. I need to simply apply my mistakes. What I'm really doing is learning. Could my desire to give up CC have to do with not doing things well?
Won't know how
My stomach has always been this way.
What do I need to learn? To get rid of this belief that some other force other than myself is the root cause. How to maintain a strong core and flat tummy. Commitment. Patience
Where's the best place to go to learn it? Perhaps lifetime. Yoga seemed to be great.
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them? Devin can teach me how to maintain it.
What do I know how to do right now? That sugar doesn't help and should be limited. I know yoga will do it. I have to do this now.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives? Yes, my struggles help to create empathy.
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me? Yes, Carl!
I don't have the money nor am I good with it.
What do I need to learn? To release my beliefs about not deserving this or it being too hard. How to make better decisions. To save. To invest. To be patient.
Where's the best place to go to learn it? Bank of America can get me started. Nancy
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them? Nancy
What do I know how to do right now? I may not have the money but I have the ability in me to do something to get it. Budget.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives? Yes, my family can learn money and create wealth.
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me? Yes, Carl and Nancy.
I will leave Carl.
What do I need to learn? To release my past. Commitment. Love. Trust. Loyalty.
Where's the best place to go to learn it? By being with him.
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them? My mom must know a thing or two. The Myers. The Ozo's. The Gunderson's
What do I know how to do right now? Be faithful. Communicate.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives? Yes. It's ok to choose love over time. As long as we continue to work toward each other and not let the fear from our past relationships run this one in a negative way.
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me? Carl and i can do this!
I'm too young
What do I need to learn? Age ain't nothing but a number and apparently another tactic by my ego to drive. Pffft!
Where's the best place to go to learn it? Mastin is a great example.
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them? Mastin!!!!
What do I know how to do right now? I may not have the money but I have the ability in me to do something to get it. Use my gift and be open to learning. I built ptw, I can build anything else.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives? Of course!!!
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me? Carl, Mastin.
I seem to have trouble finishing what I start.
What do I need to learn? To stop holding myself to this nonexistent level of perfection.
Where's the best place to go to learn it? Kara is good at seeing things through. Also through my current commitments.
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them? Kara. Carl. Devin.
What do I know how to do right now? I am very creative and good at handling problems when they arise.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives? Yes, these things have been proven through PTW.
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me? Kara.
I can aapply these questions to my fears.
What do I need to learn?
Where's the best place to go to learn it?
Who is already successful and what can I learn from them?
What do I know how to do right now? I may not have the money but I have the ability in me to do something to get it.
Can what I already know be helpful to other people's lives?
Is there anyone in my life that can be an accountability partner for me
If I plan to run an organization I will have problems to deal with and that's normal. Personal integrity is how I build self esteem. When I hold myself accountable, I can enhance my self worth. It's a great start to take the pictures of my food.
What are empowering questions about failure? What is my definition of failure? Not doing something well. Not finishing what I start. Not meeting deadlines. Is it actually possible for me to fail or is it simply producing a result? And jn that regard, what is success? Do I feel afraid? A bit but it's a good fear.
I'm not good enough according to who? Myself, the standards I have set for myself. Why wouldn't I be enough? I have set some standard for myself and I don't even know what those standards are. What is the measure of me feeling good about myself. People living at their higher purpose are independent of what other people think. I have been defined by my own opinion.
Where is this feeling coming from? Where is this measurement coming from? How will I know that I'm enough? If I am disconnected from god, then these feelings will arise. If this moment were divine grace, what would that mean about me? This is especially important for the tough moments. This work is for those willing to do the work. Am I willing to do the work?
I need to incorporate spiritual meaning into everything I do. What makes me feel connected to a power greater than myself? To god? Prayer. Loving relationships. What can I do everyday to feel connected with god? Study. Be open to learning. Live in my gift. What practice brings me closer to god? Praying. Listening. I have to live on faith. Everything must be in alignment with my purpose. God is so good. What of the fish?
I don't have to know everything to get started. Knowing that water is made of h2o is irrelevant to my thirst. It's good to know but it's the experience and action of drinking water that is important. In order to accomplish my dream, I might have to experience some downs, some growth spurts. Seeds don't grow overnight. I also have to come from a loving place, a giving space.
I can be such a brat sometimes. Everything that I am going through right now is preparing me. Are hitting road blocks a reason to quit or to push forward? Push forward. What are my limiting beliefs around my dreams? That my dreams are too big for me which is insulting to god. Also that I shouldn't dream. My ego will do everything it can to keep me in my comfort zone because that's when it's in the driving seat.
Is it rejection or feedback? Rejection is feedback. Is there something greater in store? Always!! I am not wrong for being afraid. There's always a reason for it. How am I going to choose to respond to this fear?
Masculine energy is a heat seeking missile. I can hone in on it by asking the following questions.
What do I want?
Why do I want it?
What do I have to do to make it happen?
Purpose can be concrete and illusive. It can show up in every area of my life. If I try honing in on my purpose, what do I fear will happen? Imaginary failure. Why do I have a lack of commitment? Afraid of being left by it. Why have I lived with this sorta go with the flow attitude? Why am I afraid of commitment? I don't want to choose one thing and be wrong. I thought with my ex that I wanted a certain type of life and when that didn't go well, I was wrong, unhappy, bored. I don't want to feel that again. I've chosen not to be attached and committed to anyone or anything because of that experience. I wasn't connected to god nor did I seek him first in my relationship.
No matter what I am doing, the through line of who I am will be present. I was afraid of me for so long that I have created many things that I thought would keep me from essentially being wrong again. I had thought for the longest time that something must be wrong with who I am since I made what I thought were mistakes. What would happen if I commit? I have to balanced the masculine of getting what I want and the feminine of letting go. Spontaneous creation can exist within structure. The structure can be a deadline and paperwork.
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